An extraordinary memoir that explores the further reaches of today’s cancer science – alongside a deeply tender story of loss, grief and love.

‘A moving, compelling and vital book, that sheds much needed light on the very latest understanding of cancer.’
Siddhartha Mukherjee, author of The Emperor of All Maladies

'A gripping, heartbreaking, accessible personal journey through love and cancer'
Charles Graeber, New York Times bestselling author of The Breakthrough

‘Sensitive and informed. Essential reading for anyone supporting a loved one through cancer. Heartbreaking, emotional – and totally and utterly uplifting and hopeful.’
Deborah James (@bowelbabe), writer and broadcaster

'May be the most heartbreaking medical memoir you'll read.'
Daily Mail

When Henry Scowcroft’s partner Zarah was diagnosed with stage IV bladder cancer in her mid-thirties, their world fell apart. In order to cope with the upheaval as they endured scans, aggressive chemotherapy and hospital stays, Henry began writing down and sharing their experiences with friends and family. His day job as a writer for the charity Cancer Research UK helped him to explain everything he was learning from the coalface of cancer treatment – including Zarah’s diagnosis, and their rollercoaster journey through the health system.

After Zarah’s untimely death Henry found some closure and comfort by trying to learn more about her cancer from scientific analysis of the test results and biopsies taken during her treatment, and enlisted a team of doctors and researchers to help him. Could he have done more? How did Zarah’s tumour develop? Could there be a legacy from her death that would help others diagnosed with cancer?

This heart-wrenching memoir of love and loss is interspersed with Henry’s mission to understand the cancer that took his partner too soon.